It’s me again! My name is Millie Grant and over time, I have progressed from feeling lost in
the tide that is the sexual violence aftermath, to finding hope and ways to give back.
A sexual assault leaves you with a million thoughts and feelings inundating your mind with
an unrelenting persistence you can barely imagine ever escaping. It feels like you’re a ticking time bomb waiting for the next trigger episode – but this doesn’t last forever. It will take hard work from your end, and it will take an equal dose of stubborn persistence to make it through, but it is something you will successfully navigate. Beautiful things await you on the other side.
It may feel like there are more reasons to give up, but recovery will give you amillion more reasons to stay. Often after a sexual assault, you are left feeling lost and shoved in the dark, like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. It can be difficult to know which services are available to support you and where you can find them, but they do exist. Nobody expects you to navigate this process alone, there are many support networks who will help you through your healing.
It has been five years since my first instance of sexual violence and nearly two since the
second. This has been a long time coming and it has not come easily. I’ll admit, there were
long periods where I wanted to give up – but I didn’t and now I get to live in my full circle
moments. I’m rewarded each day with stark contrasts of where I was and how far I’ve come.
I finally feel like I am living proof that it does get better, beautiful things await you.
I knew this year I wanted to give back in as many ways I could. I wasn’t sure what this would look like, but I started when I planned a fundraiser last October. In April for Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, I swam 6km to raise $1500 for
Wellington Help. Wellington holds a special place in my heart, and I wanted to fundraise and give back in whatever way I could. Wellington has the highest proportion of sexual assaults in New Zealand so it seemed like an obvious way I could give back to my community. Wellington Help is a non-profit who offer support to survivors and families of survivors in the aftermath of sexual violence.
Doing this was an incredibly rewarding experience, it felt very full circle to be in the position where I had the strength to organise this fundraiser after many, many months of struggling to make it to the next day. This was my first of many to come fundraisers. The feeling of giving back and enabling an organisation to continue supporting people who were in the position I was in was incredibly pivotal to my recovery. It increased my feelings of purpose and I think giving back to the community where and when you can, is an opportunity you should never pass up.
Along the healing journey I’ve been on, I met one of my loveliest friends Laura who runs
@FlourishProjectNZ. I joined her community of survivors and found a light at the end of the rabbit hole. This year, we joined forces and decided to create sweatshirts where 100% of
the proceeds went directly to Help Auckland. Help Auckland aims to prevent sexual abuse
and support children and women in their healing process. They provide comprehensive
support to survivors and families and survivors. Laura is the community ambassador for
Help Auckland, and she asked for my help in designing and organising this fundraiser. It has been a long and tiring process, but one I look back on with fondness. We have worked really hard to get these sweatshirts up and running, but it has already been so rewarding.
We came up with the slogans for two sweatshirt designs and had them illustrated and
printed. We wanted one to focus particularly on survivors and providing hope and
encouraging them to continue their journey of healing. We also wanted one which
encouraged people to continue speaking up about their mental health.
We created the design for ‘It will get better. Beautiful things await you’ because we wanted
to remind you and those who see this message, when things feel impossibly hard, beautiful
things await you. Beautiful things are always awaiting you on the other side, your hurt is
going to end. We want to remind you, it will get better. It always will, and when it does you
will be able to see all the beautiful parts of life you couldn’t see before. We chose a design
of a woman with beautiful blue flowers to illustrate the beauty, strength and growth we
have both found. We are resilient survivor sisters and we want to share the beauty in
recovery with you.
We created our ‘We’ve got your back. Share the load’ design to remind you and those who
see it – you are not alone. There are people around you who want to and will support you. It
is okay to share the load which may be weighing you down. You do not need to carry it alone, you can share the load. We chose to create an illustration of two people carrying a couch to further depict our message. You cannot carry it alone and it’s okay to ask for help. We encourage you to treat your mental load the same, it is okay to share the load.
You can buy these sweatshirts and stickers with our designs via
We want to encourage you to spread these messages of hope. To continue destigmatising
discussions around mental health and to continue providing hope to people who feel
trapped in their darkness. I want to encourage you to hold onto hope and continue asking
for help where you need it. Trust me, I know it feels impossible, but it never is. You will get
out of the rabbit hole and you will have your full circle moments to relish in.
Trust me, it will get better, beautiful things await you.